Friday, 18 June 2010

Senior thoughts!

Growing old is compulsory. Growing up is optional.

Age does not always bring wisdom. A lot of the time ages turns up by itself.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

You know you're getting old when everything hurts - and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

Living to 100 has one advantage - no peer pressure.

Growing old is when you hear the snap, crackle and pop before you get up for breakfast.

Old age is the time of life when actions creak louder than words.

If age is all in the mind, how come it keeps creeping down into the body.

What others see as baldness, I still see as a rather wide parting.

Time may be a great healer but it's a terrible beautician.

Old age is when you know all the answers but no-one asks the questions.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

Retirement - twice the husband on half the income.

I get enough exercise pushing my luck and jumping to conclusions.

Regular naps really can prevent old age - especially if you take them while driving.

The only real advantage of old age it that it lets you sing while you brush your teeth.

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.

Over the hill? What hill?

If I'd known how much fun grand-children would be, I'd have had them first.

Experience is an expensive teacher who ends up sending horrifying bills.

The main thing wrong with the younger generation is that I'm not in it.

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.


  1. Ye feelin auld dear? Some days ah dae tae. Some nights ah only go tae bed so's ah can get up in the mornin. Some days ah only get up so's ah can go back tae bed at night.

    Ye've got tae watch. Ye can think yersel aulder, ye can even think yersel deid, but try as ye might, ye'll nivver think yersel younger. Ye've jist got tae get used, an' mak a virtue oot o' decrepitude.

  2. Aw the above:0(

    Sophia - Ah've thoght mahsel younger - then Ah sobered up an realized how virtuous Ah wiz!

  3. Aye, ah've been miraculous masel mair'n yince. Ah few sherries can tak ten year aff me, mind it pits oan twenty in the mornin.

  4. Sophia,

    I find that after a couple of wine gums, a sniff of the barman's apron and a swing round a lamp-post even Maggie Thatcher and Bessie Braddock look younger but that's all I'm admitting...

  5. scunnert,

    Away, you're still only a young sprog!

  6. Ah widnae know Mr Brownlie, tae me Maggie Thatcher an' Bessie Braddock ARE younger.

  7. "Growing old is great, you get Christmas once a fortnight." George Burns.

    "If I'd known I would get this old I would have looked after my self better." Me

  8. Sophia,

    I've just heard that Bessie Braddock died some years ago. No wonder she was un-responsive as I've just realised I was dancing with her statue in Lime Street Station.

  9. Well... it's never gonna happen to me. I'm 17 for ever....

  10. Tris,

    Altogether now:

    "Then you'll be forever young"

    Second line for your mum

    "and beautiful to me"!

  11. I'm a great believer in botox and surgery personally... little nip, little tuck and of course some nerve murdering botox to preserve eternal youth ...

    now thats progress.