A "delivery-man" has just dropped a leaflet through my letter-box. What ever happened to activists on the door-step?
The leaflet would be a very convincing read if one was living in a news vacuum and had no idea of what is happening in the United Kingdom at present. A few extracts and what they really mean.
Gordon Brown has demonstrated real leadership in seeing us through tough times.
Really excellent and stunning news that the tough times are over thanks to Gordon Brown's leadership.
Labour is working hard for Scottish people nationally and in Europe, to ensure no one is left behind.
Apart from those who lost their jobs, the poor, the homeless and the deprived. On the brighter side Gordon, Alastair, Eric Joyce, Michael Martin et al have certainly not been left behind.
Labour is the only party on the side of hard working families.
Apart from those who lost their jobs, the poor, the homeless and the deprived. On the brighter side many families have obtained lucrative employment as assistants, researchers, cleaners etc etc to Labour politicians.
The global financial crisis shows us that Scotland is stronger together. Separate from the rest of the UK we would be weaker.
Our prudent management of the economy has meant we've abolished boom and bust and this has made Scotland stronger. Whilst most people take the opposite view and we have no figures to back this up you'll just have to take our word for it.
Labour is doing everything we can to save jobs, keep businesses afloat and get Scotland back on track.
We have no evidence to back this up and, to be truthful we failed to save jobs, failed to keep businesses afloat and we've failed to keep Scotland on track.
We saved Scotland's banks - not to help failed bankers, but to save jobs, mortgages, homes and savings.
By "saving Scotland's banks" we have not saved jobs, mortgages, homes and savings. On the bright side we have saved "failed bankers" who have been amply rewarded for failure with lucratives pay-offs and pensions.
Now more than ever people must play by the rules. But the SNP are changing the law to end short prison sentences, even for violent crimes - so criminals will escape jail.
Our promise to be tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime made only a short twelve years ago has been so successful that criminality is, ahem, almost non-existence. The legacy of over-crowded and dilapidated prisons we left to the SNP Government has left them looking not just at addressing the prison shortages but also to address the causes of crimes such as, for example, large and organised fraud.
By abolishing ASBOs in all but name, they, the SNP, are telling communities 'you're on your own'.
Apart from the obvious un-truth that ASBOs have been abolished the SNP are telling communities "you're on the own" by putting an extra thousand police on the streets.
To makes goods cheaper in shops we cut VAT, saving families on average £275 off household bills.
To the average family this works out at around £1 per head per week which is just about enough to feed the fish in the moat. The families will be so grateful for this that they will ignore the massive debts incurred by Labour which their children and their children's children will be paying back throughout their life-time.
In stark contrast to Gordon Brown's commitment to Scotland, we remember the damage the last Tory Government did.
You'll have to take our word, despite any evidence to the contrary, about Gordon Brown's commitment to Scotland. We considered the damage caused by the last Tory government so extensive that as soon as we got into Government we followed, and exacerbated, the same damaging policies.