Monday, 25 May 2009


We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime cooking activity.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put in motion.


1. The woman buys the food.

2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes dessert.

3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill with beer in hand.

4. The woman remains outside the obligatory, criticism free, three metres male only zone, where bonding activities can take place without female interference.


5. The man places the meat on the grill.

More routine:

6. The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

7. This is optional. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she can bring another beer. The beer part is not optional.


8. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

More routine:

9. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.


The man has another beer.

More routine:

10. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.


11. Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his superb cooking skills.

12. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her "night off cooking", and, upon seeing her reaction, concludes that there's no pleasing some women.

13. After a few more beers, he, foolishly perhaps, thinks this could be a good time to ask about the possibility of a nice meal.


  1. I don't do BBQs these days and, when I explained the reasons which are all of the above, I was told things would change. They did. We don't have salad now just baked potatoes. No pudding or starter either.


  2. subrosa,

    Oh, dear, can I suggest that to make up for your insensitive and chauvinistic attitude give him a pre-prandial treat and cook him a nice meal!

    John aka Marjorie Proops

  3. i would love toi oblige in my womanly duties dear, but that nice queen victoria is speaking on the wireless...

  4. Men are better at cooking outdoors than woman, i know because i often cook at BBQ and im damn good at it.

    But we must not forget, a woman's place is in the kitchen, call me old fashioned if you want but im just thinking about my stomach and that is priority round my way.

    If my other half is at mine and i don't hear any pots and pans crashing about, then questions will be asked. Im no kidding, food, football,Internet shopping then woman , well okay i suppose i could rearrange that list, just depends on how horny i feel.

  5. AMW,

    Please don't be so sexist or subrosa will be round with her secateurs or, in my case, chain-saw.