Thursday, 10 September 2009

New tricks from an old dog

An old dog gets lost in the jungle and is sitting under a tree trying to work out how to make his way back home when he spots a young leopard bounding towards him with hungry intent.

Thinking quickly he spots some bones on the ground nearby and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back towards the approaching ca

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old boy exclaims loudly "Goodness, that was a really delicious leopard. I wonder if there's any more around here".

On hearing this the leopard stops in mid-stride and slinks away into the trees. "God!" said the leopard to himself "That old sod nearly had me!".

Meantime, a monkey who had been watching the entire scene decides he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. Off he goes after the leopald with great speed but the old dog spots him and works out that there's treachery afoot.

The monkey catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made to look foolish by the old dog and says "Right, monkey, hop on my back while I go and sort out this conniving canine.

The old dog spots the leopard approaching with the monkey on his back and sits down with his back to them, pretending that he hasn't seen them yet and just when they get close enough to hear, he says "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

The moral of this tale ....

Age and cunning will always overcome youth and treachery.

Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.


  1. when i saw the link thought you was on about Subrosa.....oops!

  2. Niko,

    What the consultant did to you yesterday was nothing compared to what subrosa will do to you when she reads that comment.

    By the way, did the consultant confirm to your wife, yesterday, that your head was not up there?

  3. Niko...

    Oh ho ho your history..

  4. brownlie...

    This is the sort of stuff my dad comes out with when we are at each other.

    " Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience "

    Well im a quick learner..

  5. Brownlie

    she was outside listening to the Click, click of the sampling..Ouch!

  6. I heard there was intense wailing from a medical facility in Edinburgh yesterday and the men in white coats were summoned. The medics said a woman in the company of the patient tried her utmost to suppress giggles but with little success. All further reporting has been withdrawn on the order of Gordon Brown as he stated "It is absolutely necessary that I protect the life of my one and only supporter."

    Quick learner Brownlie? Ahem ...

  7. Och, you've all been so bloody witty that now I feel a twerp with nothing clever to say....

    Brilliant story though Brownlie. Thanks for sharing.

    oh... I have to go to Edinburgh for a check up next week... I hope they've washed their hands....

  8. I thought Browns only supporter was his scrotum subrosa...but now you mention it...

  9. AMW

    Listen carefully to your Dad. Therein lies promotion from pencil counter to tea-maker etc etc.

  10. tris,

    You're safe enough. Niko's consultant is off for an indefinite period with "shock and awe" after viewing his nether regions. I understand that removing the head from there was the most difficult part.

  11. Conan,

    Reminds me of the joke that Brown looked like a badly drawn face on an elderly scrotum.

  12. subrosa,

    You're surely not comparing Niko to a jockstrap?